he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
is that a dick in a sweater?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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