apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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