you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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