playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
