I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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