need another drink. this is the easiest way
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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