I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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