So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
