On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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