maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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