He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
