Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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