Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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