Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
