If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
They have beer where we have blood.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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