You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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