u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
