Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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