She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
