I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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