Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Randomize
