Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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