I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
