My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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