just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
