she was so not down for the gang bang
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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