Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
