smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
