9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
