Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
