I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
