Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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