Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He shit in the fireplace
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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