I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
