at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
