so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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