wanna go halves on a baby?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
