I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
