I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Where are you guys?
Drunk
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
