you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
