hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
