i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think my moral compass just broke
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
