I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im having a threesome with these popsicles
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
