apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
