That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
