I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
