only if we run a train.
done.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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