he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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