Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
