I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
